Hey blogging buddies,
Thanks for the emails and checking in on me. Sorry I didn't respond. I haven't felt much like blogging lately. I'm having a heck of a time trying to figure out how to be a mom to an angel in heaven while everyone around me is having health babies. There were five people at work expecting this year. The last two just had their babies last week. On top of that my neighbors across the street came over and told my husband and me that they are expecting twins through IVF. I feel like such a horrible friend because every single one of these people were there for me but I'm unable to share in their happiness. I turned down every baby shower invitation because I couldn't even RSVP without bawling my eyes out. Truthfully, I thought I was further along in the grieving process but I guess I'm not. I still have a tremendous heartache and the tears would flow everyday if I didn't hold them back. I returned to my parent support group this month and found some comfort. There is a balloon release and a preeclampsia walk in the month of May that I plan on attending. I'm hoping those things will help bring me some solace. The unsuccessful IVF treatment was a bigger blow to me than expected. I knew I would be devastated but I had no idea it would be this awful. If any of you have any advice regarding baby showers, new babies, or being a mom to an angel I'm all ears. Your kind words and support are greatly appreciated.
Correction: One more coworker is expecting to have her baby very soon.
I'm with you. I turn down every invite. I just cant bring myself to go to them yet. I wish I could share in the happiness that they all shared with me and support all the support they gave me when Nolan passed. But I just can't find that strength yet.
ReplyDeleteI am SO happy your back in blog land. I have missed you!
Thanks Ashley. It's nice to know I'm not alone. I've missed reading your post because you are very funny but I can also relate to a lot that you write about.
ReplyDeletei think you have to do what is best for you right now. i still cant go to some baby showers and well, i feel like know i should be able to. you've had a horrible almost two years...i so wish ryan was here....i'm hurting for you friend....
ReplyDeletebe gentle with yourself. and if your friends are true friends, they will understand and they will be there with outstretched arms when YOU are ready...whenever that is.
I feel your pain as well! (((HUGS)))
ReplyDeleteI understand you are in pain and I know you are here with us in your heart. Continue to be the strong, amazing, and powerful women you have always been. We love you and are here for you always.
ReplyDeleteSo glad to see your back! Missed your blog!
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